Unique Identification

I do not believe that we need the Unique Identification anymore. See, that generation of our Dads and Moms- not very creative. I know at least 20 Sanjays and another 20 Rajivs, and this when I am not a very social person. Back in the day I am told, couples were not as enthusiastic about becoming parents as they seem to be today. There were no "Dummy's Copy of Parenting" or the "Idiot's Guide to Raising a Child". A child was born through the natural stuff that happens when two people get married (or when they have the privacy of a confined space to themselves) and so you dealt with them as they came along. Nobody every stopped to wonder what they would want their child to be like. The only thing that mothers were concerned about was the their offsprings should not appear before Daddy with a running nose. There were no cameras to capture the first time you baby farted or other joyous accomplishments. In fact, being pregnant was almost an embarrassment because like in many other communities, Punjabi couples too will go the extra mile to show to everybody that they are only mildly interested in each-other's existence and in this situation, a swollen belly does throw the proverbial bucket of water on the efforts by proving to everybody that there is a helluva lot more going on. In fact, such was the taboo associated with the word "pregnancy" that they never ever used it. And by THEY I meant the whole damn community. Recently, I was lounging about, flicking channels and progressively sliding lower on my bed, as we are prone to doing in the usual course of lounging about when Mom and Buaji walked into the room with the purposeful yet secretive gait of people who have news to share. They sat on the other side of the bed and cared not that I was watching Community on TV, erupting appreciative grunts at their excellent humour in my half-asleep state. Little did they know that in my seemingly comatose state, I was listening intently to what was unfolding around me. Soon enough buaji leaned closer to my mother and said, "उस्स दी good news है". My mother began to smile and said a few phrases to the tune of "very pleased to hear" et al. The women however were rudely interrupted when I butted in with a "क्या है?". My mother looked at my annoyingly and said "क्या, क्या है?" So I asked her what the good news were and let me tell you, the folks in the Harry Potter books would have said Voldemort a dozen times in the amount that the blessed ladies took to say "pregnant". Of course I burst out laughing and of course I howled and laughed and then some more for days at an end. My mother calmed me down enough to tell me that she had still progressed with time; when her mother and peers used an even funnier phrase to communicate the news of pregnancy. Let us assume that a lovely lady, Ms. A is pregnant. So my grandmother, if she had to tell about this to her friends, she would say "A सान्नू मिठाई खिलाने वाली है". Now what would a poor bloke who genuinely wanted to खिलाओ मिठाई to somebody do? Anyhue, I digress. Back to our topic of parents not caring what they name their children. So this entire generation of Sunil's and Ajay's and Shiv's and Anil's grew up that naturally created a lot of confusion everywhere. Now, however times are a' changing. The young get married and then spend a lot of time and energy in planning a child. Once the child is conceived,the time that is takes to grow in the womb, is spent by its often-annoyingly excited parents in searching for the most remarkable, the most unique and the most wonderful name there ever was. Then they come up with stuff that nobody has ever heard before, from some quack website that claims the names have a mythological connection in an exotic country but in all probability means "a horse's ass" in Turkish. If you think this trend probably started in Hollywood, where exist celeb-kids called Kal-El, Sage Moonblood and Fifi Trixibelle, you are wrong. Before any of them started this fad, I owned a turtle who was not-christened Shit. The fact that my turtle is dead should give you an idea of how long ago this had happened. I have recently had the pleasure of meeting kids who are called Noelle (it weirdly twists my mouth when I try to call out to the baby), Nela and Agastas (you cannot say this name casually, it must always be with some force and that's tiring). Clearly, nobody else is naming their kid these names EVER again, unless they pull a Agastas Jr. in which case the unique identity is still preserved because it is the same bloodline. So you see, with bizzare names such as these, we don't really need any other unique identification systems. I got several such names in my mind too. I think if I ever have a baby, I will call it Sunil or Sita. depending on the gender because nobody from my generation and ahead will ever return to these names again.